There are so many really bad puns I want to make in this post, but I’ll refrain* because (1) I’m a professional and (2) my mama reads this blog.
*I’m still going to make puns. They just won’t be the really bad ones.
Some people go to Iceland for the incredible scenery. Others go for the impressive history. I went for the penises.
According to the museum’s website, the Icelandic Phallological Museum is the world’s only museum dedicated to the science(?) of phallology. And, as far as I’m concerned, a visit to Reykjavik isn’t complete until you see how you compare to a sperm whale’s penis. Compare in height, of course.
I’m not making a “Moby Dick” joke here just for you, Mom.
I win at being taller. The sperm whale penis wins at looking more like the world’s most terrifying leech. So we’ll call it a draw.
With the exception of almost getting poked in the eye by a narwhal penis (not meant to be dirty – this really almost happened), visiting the museum was a blast (meant to be slightly dirty). Where else are you going to get the chance to see the nether-regions of a horse and a hamster and a walrus and a whale all in one afternoon, other than a really traumatic trip to the zoo? The museum was a little light on the interpretation, but what it lacked in information it made up for in sheer volume (I swear, these things are writing themselves) . There was no pretense or apologies for the content, everything was interesting, and the museum never took itself too seriously. You should absolutely visit.
Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the most specific museum I’ve visited so far (These images are currently kept in a folder called “BestIcelandPenises.” I should probably change that).
-
- Creatures of the deep
-
- Another whale. Humpback, maybe?
-
- Trolls turn to stone when they get caught in the sunlight. And so do their penises.
-
- Invisible elf penis. But it’s labelled, so we know it’s there!
-
- It’s like a melting Salvador Dali, except it’s an elephant.
-
- A letter of donation. For Elmo The Penis.
-
- The German donor
-
- The Icelandic Handball Team. THIS is how you celebrate winning the Silver Medal.
-
- Testicle lampshades
-
- Tanned leather
-
- Multi-language labels, including Esperanto.
-
- Minke whale
Have you been to the Icelandic Phallological Museum? Did you notice that after you were there, EVERYTHING outside the museum looked like a penis for the rest of the day?
Museums Askew 
Pingback: It Is A Truth Universally Acknowledged… | Museums Askew
“Where else are you going to get the chance to see the nether-regions of a horse and a hamster and a walrus and a whale all in one afternoon, other than a really traumatic trip to the zoo?” – Literally LOL! Oh, man. Good stuff! So if I beg will you send me an unrated or NC-17 version of this post. The untapped pun potential is kinda killing me.
LikeLike
We visited the museum when it was still in Husavik (on our honeymoon, no less^^) and being run by the founder (it moved to Reykjavik when he retired and his son took over) so we got the chance to question him about it. His comment? “Well, what’s a retired teacher to do but open a museum about phalluses? Times are tough, you know.” 😀
LikeLike
You can’t argue with logic!
We visited on our first anniversary, and I was hoping the owner would be there. Instead, we got a guy who looked really unimpressed to be spending his day working in a penis museum. Dream job for some, not so much for others…
LikeLike
This seems like it would make a great pop-up museum. So is there a sister museum for all things vajajay?
Thanks for sharing and the inevitable Freudian dreams.
LikeLike
I don’t know if there’s a whole museum, but you could always see where “The Great Wall of Vagina” is touring, or just look at Judy Chicago’s “The Dinner Party.”
LikeLike
It wasn’t open when I was there… I mean the museum was closed when i was there!
LikeLike
Ba-dum-tchss!
LikeLike